Open Letter to Miss Lady
Today, I had an experience at the gym that I really felt like I needed to write out here. To protect the not so innocent, I will call this person Miss Lady.
Dear Miss Lady,
I know that you are a personal trainer by trade and that you REALLY care about helping people, however, it would be remiss of me to neglect pointing out that you are repulsive. Your concern comes off as condescending judgment. You ask how I'm doing, I tell you I joined a specific group aimed at helping get my out of control food intake under control, and your response is, "THAT DOESN'T WORK! PREPACKAGED BLAH BLAH Blah blah blah..." I said, "I don't eat prepackaged food." "Oh, well, how are your workouts?" "As I said, I'm just getting back on track (Day 2 of that, mind you) and I have a new walking buddy." "Let me know how that works out for you!" Right.
If you're not someone who I'd be friends with, you're not someone I'm going to train with, PERIOD. Your tactics inhale vigorously. The only trainer that I personally know with whom I'd actually train is my sister. I know that SHE actually does care how I do and has a vested interest in my health. You, woman, only have an interest in your paycheck. Don't try to feed me this line of malarkey about how you actually care about what you do. It's male bovine feces and I'm not buying it.
By the way, after I lifted at the gym, I went straight to the Burger King and got a veggie burger. Keep your eyes on your own plate and work out the most important muscle you have - your heart - it appears to be weak in empathy.
Rant over. Today, I walked 1.95 miles. I have just over three weeks until my 5k. I've got this and I'm good with where I am. I will get my momentum going again and I am feeling confident about the direction in which I am headed.
I didn't gain all my weight back, but now, I know what to do, how to do it, and, most importantly, I have faith because I know I can do this. It's okay if it happens slowly. I won't give up. I was in a slump and, as my brother told me, lesson learned. I know I don't like how I feel when I don't work out. I know I don't like how I feel about losing a great big chunk of weight and gaining 3/4 of it back, because, let's face it, fifty pounds is a big chunk of weight, and if you don't have to, why would you want to lose that and then gain so much of it back only to have to lose it again. That doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
Back to the trainer lady, here's the thing. She didn't even know how badly I had felt for the last three months. She didn't know how much it took for me to decline her training. She doesn't know how much I really don't need her help. She was, however trying to shame me into thinking I need her services. That is not okay. It really isn't. Miss Lady didn't want to believe that there is another way. It sounded to me like she only believes in HER way. She can think that all she wants all day long. I will be doing what I know works for me, and I will save the money to buy a new wardrobe.
If you or someone you know is struggling with getting healthy, losing weight, managing his or her relationship with food, or just trying to work on him or herself as a person, be gentle. No one else on this planet is you. No one knows what it's like to be you. No one knows what goes on in the dark crevasses of your mind, even if you share those things with others. There isn't another human alive who truly knows what it's like to be you. That means that you don't really know what it means to be someone else. What that does mean, though, is having that knowledge now makes you responsible for empathy. You have just as much right to judge the person next to you as he or she has the right to judge you. That means, you don't. If you can help someone, do, but don't if that means you think you have to put them down to help build them up. Chances are, since each of us is her or his own worst critic, you or they are doing a good enough job of berating yourselves in your own heads.
My advice, gentle reader, is this: Be more concerned with that which is on your own plate than that of the person next to you. Eat what you want within reason, but if you go past that point, it's okay. You don't need to beat yourself up. It's one meal and one workout at a time. Be gentle. Be kind. Mistakes happen, but you can get past them if you allow yourself.
Dear Miss Lady,
I know that you are a personal trainer by trade and that you REALLY care about helping people, however, it would be remiss of me to neglect pointing out that you are repulsive. Your concern comes off as condescending judgment. You ask how I'm doing, I tell you I joined a specific group aimed at helping get my out of control food intake under control, and your response is, "THAT DOESN'T WORK! PREPACKAGED BLAH BLAH Blah blah blah..." I said, "I don't eat prepackaged food." "Oh, well, how are your workouts?" "As I said, I'm just getting back on track (Day 2 of that, mind you) and I have a new walking buddy." "Let me know how that works out for you!" Right.
If you're not someone who I'd be friends with, you're not someone I'm going to train with, PERIOD. Your tactics inhale vigorously. The only trainer that I personally know with whom I'd actually train is my sister. I know that SHE actually does care how I do and has a vested interest in my health. You, woman, only have an interest in your paycheck. Don't try to feed me this line of malarkey about how you actually care about what you do. It's male bovine feces and I'm not buying it.
By the way, after I lifted at the gym, I went straight to the Burger King and got a veggie burger. Keep your eyes on your own plate and work out the most important muscle you have - your heart - it appears to be weak in empathy.
Rant over. Today, I walked 1.95 miles. I have just over three weeks until my 5k. I've got this and I'm good with where I am. I will get my momentum going again and I am feeling confident about the direction in which I am headed.
I didn't gain all my weight back, but now, I know what to do, how to do it, and, most importantly, I have faith because I know I can do this. It's okay if it happens slowly. I won't give up. I was in a slump and, as my brother told me, lesson learned. I know I don't like how I feel when I don't work out. I know I don't like how I feel about losing a great big chunk of weight and gaining 3/4 of it back, because, let's face it, fifty pounds is a big chunk of weight, and if you don't have to, why would you want to lose that and then gain so much of it back only to have to lose it again. That doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
Back to the trainer lady, here's the thing. She didn't even know how badly I had felt for the last three months. She didn't know how much it took for me to decline her training. She doesn't know how much I really don't need her help. She was, however trying to shame me into thinking I need her services. That is not okay. It really isn't. Miss Lady didn't want to believe that there is another way. It sounded to me like she only believes in HER way. She can think that all she wants all day long. I will be doing what I know works for me, and I will save the money to buy a new wardrobe.
My advice, gentle reader, is this: Be more concerned with that which is on your own plate than that of the person next to you. Eat what you want within reason, but if you go past that point, it's okay. You don't need to beat yourself up. It's one meal and one workout at a time. Be gentle. Be kind. Mistakes happen, but you can get past them if you allow yourself.
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